When I think about what I want for my life, the present the future, etc., sometimes I’m very torn. Maybe I’m asking too much of myself to even know what I want to do with the rest of my life.
At times, I want a life where you know, I make a lot of many and I’m financially able to do whatever I want. But when I think about it realistically I know this financially competent life will not come to me easily.
Other times, when I take a moment to pause and see what’s around me. I am so thankful that my life is great in a very simple way. For those who do not know, I am 23 years old, so pardon me if I’m speaking beyond my years, but I’m happy that I was raised having great pride for where I come from even though my origins do not necessarily involve great assets or a family business. The community of people who have raised me has all done great in their own way. Though they do not get large recognition for this, does not change how wonderful they are.
So continuing with my own thoughts and what I want with my life I think I want a happy medium of the two lifestyles I keep pushing myself towards. Nothing extreme. I don’t mind working hard, don’t get me wrong. But when I have children, for example, I want to be a part of their lives. Not just for a few hours a day. I want to make breakfast for them. Ask them how their day was when they leave school. Simple things like this that could affect their lives positively. Having that person you can always go to talk to is important to me. I know not all children want to be attached to their parents, and I hope I won’t appear to be one of those parents trying to be cool either. But I do want them to feel like I’m a person they can trust and come to with whatever thoughts or concerns they have. Even questions I might not be able to answer, or in some instances, questions and concerns that may be off-color or traditionally hard to speak about.
When I think what I want for my life: I want to do everything I’m anxious to do, but also not too many things or jobs that steal from my joy.
That’s really general, I know. Which makes it even more difficult to figure out what exactly I want to do for a career.
First and foremost, I like writing on this blog because there’s no obligation.
Second, I created this blog, so it’s one hundred percent under my control.
I don’t have a boss telling me when to blog. The only parameters I basically have are an audience that I have to attract through WordPress reader or social media. And believe it or not, I love that challenge. When I started this blog, the challenge was very new, and even two years later there’s still an ever-changing challenge to find you guys who have the patience and the want to read my posts.
It’s not that I don’t like authority or working with a boss. I just hate having to deal with that traditional boss that overreaches and in general, just makes your life less about you.
I don’t think it’s narcissistic to want my life to be about me, and doing what I want that brings me joy.
I hate this notion some people have that your job doesn’t have to be something you like doing, that you go for the money, because every time I’m at my wit’s end at a job that I don’t like and I’m doing simply for the money, I get back to the same problem I’m having currently: grappling with my own thoughts on my future.
What do I want to do with my life?
Things that add joy my life, provide a challenge, give me something new to tackle and somewhere in between there, hopefully, those things can provide me some income.
Those who know me personally know I’d love a life and career in some form related to film work. I know that getting a start in a film career is not easy. But I’ve already gotten two production gigs under my belt. If things work positively, maybe I’ll be hiring production assistants sometime in the future!