A generation scorned

A generation scorned

Don’t tell me to keep things positive

What’s positive about being a part of a generation with so many expectations attached to us that any decision made that isn’t perfect to everyone is criticized?

The levels of depression and anxiety prove it

What is this world coming to?

Ruled by a bunch of people that own large corporations so they act like they own people

Maybe the idea of peace is a fallacy

But as a child I didn’t think the world would be ruined by so much greed

So much arrogance

People who think they know everything

If they were smart they would know you never stop learning

And that different perspectives are what make this world fantastic

Although like I said earlier, the soapbox syndrome we’re all apart of now where we criticize everything from our keyboards does come with its own flaws (and as much irony as me typing this on my phone right now)

But can you blame us?

That’s how our generation learned to express ourselves

If you’re not a major player in the game, shut up and be quiet. The world doesn’t care what you think

So instead of speaking up in person, we learned to speak up through our keyboards

To battle our battles with only like minded individuals because of algorithms designed to section us up, not knowing that these tactics would r really tear us apart.

I don’t claim to know any of the answers

But what do our elders really expect us to do with this garbage dump of a country that is left behind?

Let’s blame the millennials for everything we had almost no control over

But continue drinking the kool-aid, those old farts probably won’t read this anyway

They’re too busy pointing fingers when what people need to do right now is look in the mirror and really see what’s wrong with the world

N. Oliva

I Take it Back

I Take it Back

You weren’t the best thing that ever happened to me

Maybe for a while

But after the allure ran out

I was just a person with too many problems for you

Sorry my life isn’t a storybook dream

What would you like me to do about that?

Lie about everything going on?

Lie about being happy?

For what?

Yes of course I wanted you to be happy

But the problems I was dealing with (still dealing with) are/ were not things you can just push aside

And it’s funny because when you’re having an issue you expect me to just put my stuff aside and help you to forget about yours or make you feel better

But how did you help me? By telling me to take control of myself?

If I had control over the situations that were troubling me I wouldn’t have felt so bad

Is that so hard to understand?

Literally everything that happened was out of my control.

Yes I can control myself but I can’t control how others react to me

You can’t deny that

Am I supposed to stay silent and not defend myself ever?

Because that would literally be the only solution to keeping the peace

And I was sick of being silent

Silenced

By everyone

Including you

You were my everything for so long

And it pains me to say that my everything didn’t understand me

To my core

At all

Someone who doesn’t even know me had to explain me to you

I’m not sure why I held on for so long

I got way too comfortable with you

Even after the first sign I knew you weren’t right for me

I take back what I said

I don’t want to be with you or marry you

Our future is not in the back of my mind anymore

The only thing I’m focused on

Is me

N. Oliva

Expectations of the Sheep

Expectations of the Sheep

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“Drained” N. Oliva 12/2017

People think because a person has a degree that automatically they get to work a glamorous job and make stacks of money.

Sure the opportunities are out there, but what if that’s not what a person wants?

What if my goal is to work with a great team somewhere and be happy.

Of course, there are bills to pay but are we really living to work?

That’s not how I pictured my life going.

Maybe my goals are too picturesque or cliche. Not set in reality. But I don’t think it’s hard to find a nice group of people and make your job something more than that. Something you enjoy

Maybe my goals are too simple for the NYC grind and area.

Maybe my home will be somewhere out west or south or even another country.

I’m a firm believer that life is what you make it.

But what if the people around me truly are to blame for my negative outlook.

I’ve been patient for a while hoping that if I’m nice and do everything I need to do to keep the peace that maybe people would change.

Maybe they would appreciate the things that I do for them without them asking.

But these people never do.

These people are only happy when you’re doing everything they ask and nothing more. When you say what they want you to say and act like another one of the sheep like they do.

News flash

I never was a sheep and I never will be

I’m like a lotus flower wrapped in diamonds

Sculpted by the pressure and atmosphere around me

The dirt is more my friend and family than people related to me by blood at times

I know things could be so much worse

I know my life is great on the surface

I could not be living at all

I try my best to embrace each day that comes

But sometimes

Just sometimes

The thought of not waking up seems like a sweet release compared to living this life that I live

Where money has become more important to people than company

Maybe it’s time to stop being comfortable. To leave and find my tribe.

I may have lost my leaves. But trust me when I say

I will grow

And I will flourish again in the spring

I always do.

It’s in my nature

Forever blooming

dalai lama quote

 

N. Oliva

Why do we compare?

Why do we compare?

 

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Why were women taught to compare themselves

To diminish themselves

To think, wow she’s so pretty

I don’t think look like her, therefore: I’m ugly

Instead of: wow, she’s pretty. But hey, so am I.

Every facial and bodily characteristic is sitting in a sea of beauty. Some finding this sea, more beautiful than that one. But they all exist and mean something to someone.

N. Oliva

Xoxo

Seasons

Seasons

When you think about your life, what do you think?

What do you like about your life?

What could you do without?

Which memories could you relive for the rest of your life?

Which would you dispose of within an instant?

Why?

Why not?

What do you dream of late at night?

What dreams or nightmares wake you up in the morning?

Are you counting up your blessings?

Or adding up your problems?

Do you think of sharing your life with someone?

Who?

What thoughts cross your mind when you wake up?

Is it possible to wake down?

Is your life taking you for a spin?

Enjoy the ride. Enjoy the tide. Enjoy the highs.

And the lows that make the highs feel even better

Go surfing

Go ice skating

Go kayaking

You were made to make a parade of life

Not a pity party

Pity a starry night because it cannot look at itself to see how beautiful it is

Many times

Times many

Yoda

Star Wars

Citizen Kane

Rosebud

Roses bud

Spring out and flourish

Until the first frost

The seasons are like life

Winter

Starts out rough

A learning experience

April showers bring may flowers

May flowers and trees bring allergies

Who guessed a person who loved the environment would be allergic to trees?

Summer

A joy to experience

Almost everyone’s favorite season

Except that friend who insists snow is their favorite thing on earth

Fall

Leaves change colors

Your hair changes color

Leaves start to fall

How’s your hair looking old fart?

I think you can guess where this is heading

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper

 

N. Oliva

seasons-tree