Letter to Anyone: How do I know?

Letter to Anyone: How do I know?

How do I know someone cares about me? I feel like I over analyze everything and always find something wrong in the person I’m with.

It’s definitely what I’m good at

And maybe it’s partly my fault, but it’s not fully

Maybe I do have too much baggage

I remember bad things so much easier than good times.

Lately things have been so good that I feel like something is going to go wrong

I’m so used to bad stuff happening that when good happens, I self sabotage and look for bad stuff or reasons to be mad at the person I’m with

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why this happens

I just know I want it to stop

I look up to my grand parents and see their amazing marriage and legacy that they left behind including me

And how could I not want the same?

I want to marry someone who can accept and handle me fully

Someone who wants to make me happy and someone that I want to make happy for the rest of my life

I try to prepare for the worst and hope for the best, however, I have the tendency to want things to go perfectly and smoothly.

I know that’s not life

And I know life is a beautiful, crazy mixed up, bubble of chaos

How do I stop these thoughts

I usually stop them with sleep

Or by doing something

But lately, all I can do is think

And ask people what they think

I have an issue with people who tell me to just have faith

It’s easier for me to let go of things than to trust things will work out

I’m a pro in letting go

But not believing

N. Oliva

A Letter Unsent to Someone Undeserving

A Letter Unsent to Someone Undeserving

May 19, 2018 (Originally written in my notebook)

I don’t want to be cut off or distracted by what you have to say.

I never forced anything on you. Unlike you, who cannot say the same.

You forced yourself into my life. When I first met you, I loved your energy. You were so alive and I admired that about you.

But when we reconnected last June and after the first few dates we had, I could tell something had changed within you.

Not to sound overly cliché, but you were so blue. No other way to describe you. Maybe black and blue.

Because you were so sad and dead at the same time.

When I found out what happened, a few details here and there, I could not stop thinking about it.

I needed to know more.

I knew you weren’t fully you.

I could feel the life sucked out of you. And I wanted to help you feel alive again.

When I say you forced yourself into my life, I mean that in the best way possible.

You were the first person to talk to me in the break room at Home Depot (besides people I know from orientation) and I just admired that you came up to me and told me so much about yourself. I felt like I knew you already so well from that one encounter.

You were the breath of fresh air that I needed after the past year that I had (back then).

And you’re probably one of the first reasons I even stayed at HD for as long as I did.

Let’s jump ahead because this is all of the positive stuff.

I would regret it if I did not say this to you ever.

But I had a crush on you since that first time I saw and met you.

When I added you on Facebook, before we started talking again, it was to reconnect with you.

Every time I saw you at HD, it made me happier than you’ll ever know because I had to hide it since I was with my ex then.

I even told Searra’s mom about meeting you that first time at HD and she told me to give you a chance.

Not in those exact words, but that’s another story for later.

Long story short, I was beyond glad when you messaged me first.

And here we are today.

So every time you were inconsistent with me hurt even more and shut out all of the times you made me happy.

Like I said, you told me about some things that happened with your ex and as I learned more about yourself and her relationship with you, I realized when you were actually telling me the truth.

I’m not sure of exact details between you and her.

I’m not sure who is the bigger sack of garbage.

Either way, I know how I feel now given every side that I have seen of you.

I saw the good in you for so long.

But all you have continued to show me is bad.

I overlooked it for whatever reason for so long.

Either you and your ex, deserve each other or to die alone.

Regardless, you don’t deserve me.

I know my worth and as petty or irrational as I could react to everything you did

Including blocking me with the intention to cut me out of your life

I know who I am and I hope you find who you are again and keep your garbage dump of a personality

OUT OF MY LIFE!

P.S (Written May 21, 2018)

As much as I hate to admit, I’ve never felt like anyone understood me to my core as well as you do.

I feel like one of my best friends passed away and like I’ll never see them again.

You’ve turned me into a better person in many ways, and a worse person in other ways.

I have to find the silver lining in this, or else this clearly wouldn’t be written by me.

Maybe I’ll find someone else who understands me

I always have hope

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Letters: Why didn’t I believe you

Letters: Why didn’t I believe you

Why don’t I believe people when they show me who they are?

Am I too stubborn? Or too sweet to function?

Because it’s taken me a while to figure out who I am but even then,

I know some people put up a front for so long and then snap when shit gets rough

I can’t say I’ve never had the same pattern however I will say:

I try to be as straight up and honest with people as I can

I might not say all of my feelings out loud

But I show them

Anyone that doesn’t know how I feel about them isn’t paying attention or just doesn’t care or maybe is even more stubborn

Or way more insecure than I’ll ever be

Idk why people think I’m insecure

Sure, I have my moments

But don’t project your insecurities or problems on me

She may be but little but this bitch is fierce

If you don’t know where that’s from

Please read more

Make America read again

How about that bitch

I’m more confident than I’ve ever been.

I speak my mind like I’m being paid for it. But when I want to

Not to fill the silence like other awkward people who can’t handle silence do

Silence is golden

If you can’t see the good in silence or in me, then you’re not paying attention long enough or caring enough

Or anywhere near close to good enough for me.

And I believe you now

N. Oliva

The sun

The sun

Sometimes I feel like the sun

Like I can bright up the whole world and everyone’s life

Like nothing can touch me

But it’s hard when you actually realize

You’re imperfect

And

That people you keep treating like your entire universe

Keep dousing your flames

Its as if people are ashamed of how bright you shine

Or they’re like the moon when there’s a lunar eclipse

They can’t help but block your shine

Maybe it’s a natural occurrence

Maybe when people get close to me they’re burned by my temperature

A lot of people look at me like I have something they want

Like a marvel

And maybe

Those wants are just superficial

Maybe I put too much energy into everything and everyone around me

But everytime I expect people to deliver what I give

I’m faced with disappointment

It’s hard to be selfless in a world of selfishness

It’s hard to keep shining in a world of darkness

All I ever needed was your matchstick…

To take my wrongs and make them right
To take my darkness and make it bright

I know I’m the one who yields the power of holding the match stick and lighting up my life

To keeping myself happy

But the world would be a little less lonely if people would try to get close and not act so cold

It’s ok to be warm

Warmth can be defined in different ways

People who are there when they have no reason to be

People that stick around and listen to you

They offer help if they can or they just spend time with you to let you know that you’re not alone

Because that’s the last thing that they would ever want someone to feel like

Maybe they try to make you laugh and forget about all of the bullshit

You’re not alone if you’re not in a relationship but who are we all kidding

Everyone wants to be with someone at the end of the day

Whether it’s the same person or not

Don’t push people away

Shine solo or together with someone

N. Oliva

XP Webcomic Artist Turns Disney Princesses Into Velociraptors – Velociprincesses

XP Webcomic Artist Turns Disney Princesses Into Velociraptors – Velociprincesses

People are super obsessed with Raptors since seeing the bad ass quartet in Jurassic World.

So Laura Cooper, artist that creates loveliness for XP (xpwebcomic.com) turned Disney Princesses into Velociraptors!

Before I say much else, my favorite of the bunch is the one created for Mulan: the quote Cooper chose to use is perfect! XD

Mulanraptor

mulanraptor
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic) **The Gaff does not own this image**

The remainder are as follows.

Velociraptiana

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Cinderraptor

cinderapter
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**

Ariaptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Frozenraptors: Anaraptor & Elsaraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Jasraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Meraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Sleepingraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Tangledraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Snowwhiteraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Raptorbelle

raptorbelle
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**

Lastly, Pocaraptor

Image by Laura Cooper from  XP (the webcomic) **the gaff does not own this image**
Image by Laura Cooper from XP (the webcomic)
**the gaff does not own this image**

Original Gallery Post Here: http://xpwebcomic.com/gallery/

**The Gaff Blog does not own any of the images shown in this post**

Hope you enjoyed this Raptor filled post 🙂

Show the Gaff Blog some love by liking and sharing this post

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The Gaff Blog – A Place for Games, Art, Food and Film Discussion.

The Gaff is a place for an open discussion, not a place for trolls or people trying to prove something. Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Also, if you have an opinion it is welcomed. But keep it clean. Do not write anything you could not submit to a professor. The only exception may be cursing, as long as it is not directed at anyone. Curse all you want. We are not your parents but we are people too.

be nice or leave

The purpose of this blog is to provide readers with a consumer perspective of the products that each selected industry provides:

  • The Game section will review recently released games or games from the past that our bloggers enjoy and love. In the future, perhaps one our bloggers will play the games for you to see
  • The same applies to our art, food and film reviews. Except for art, we will talk about and review exhibits at several museums. In the future, maybe feature recently released albums or songs and the like.
  • For the food section, the gaff will provide experiences at every bar and restaurant that we choose to visit (we will take any suggestions in the NYC or Tri-state area).
  • The creme de la creme, which is our film section, will feature discussions on newly released films as well as the classics.

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