As it says in the video meditation that I will post below, the eye of the hurricane is typically the only constant part of a hurricane and an often forgotten part.
Some see people who do not respond to their surroundings (right away or at all) as weak or ill-informed. In reality, those who remain calm during any predicament or storm are able to deal with things more efficiently. Stress should motivate you, but not to react in fear mode.
When you stay in your power, you do not allow the winds to effect you negatively, you are at your best.
I know hoards of people are experiencing high anxiety and stress right now due to COVID-19. For that reason, I share this with everyone who has the time and cares to listen.
Here is a meditation that has been helping me calm my inner storm:
Eye of the Hurricane Meditation
Please listen and enjoy. We will get through this! Thank you to every and all essential workers right now for going above and beyond for everyone during this trying time.
It’s not because my dad chose not to see me as a child
When I say I am a Feminist
It’s not because of the latent patriarchy that is so evident to me, but not clear to people that say “you’re so lucky to live in America, what are you complaining about?” when I already knew this to be true, I come from a family that supports and has ties to the military and have never said I was not lucky. I have a great love for my country and I am still able to criticize it. Let’s not praise it like we are unable to do anything wrong.
When I say I am a Feminist
I try my best to be intersectional but we all have our own blinders on due to our own perspectives shaped by the people in our lives and our own developed knowledge.
When I say I am a Feminist
It’s because of all the women that I’ve met and had around me my whole life. The ones who work painstakingly and get barely any credit. Their opinions are questioned at every level by men and women, often more than their male counterparts. Their ways of life are questioned. If a woman doesn’t want a child, or if she does and wants to work, or she stays home with the child. No matter what we choose, there’s someone behind a keyboard criticizing us for just trying to live our lives authentically to who we are as individuals.
Women that like to cook, or women that don’t cook or clean. Because you know that’s what women are supposed to do and we’re supposed to clean until things look spotless but you know it’s an option for the guy because he’s the stereotypical breadwinner. If he’s not the breadwinner we judge that too.
For gay couples that want to adopt children or go through invitro, etc. Their an abomination? But yet their taking children that they technically have no obligation to into their homes and lives to give them a more enriched life. Wow, how fucking terrible.
When I say I am a Feminist
I say it for the guys who don’t want to be hyper masculine either. I see you and I may not understand your struggle exactly. But I feel it at times when I joke about being an alpha and guys laugh at me as if that’s not a possible thing for a woman to be.
I say it for the guys who think they have to pay for everything and when I offer to pay they shrivel up in fear as if that’s something terrible for a woman to offer a man.
Finally
When I say I am a Feminist
It’s for all the women and men who show up, who listen to me and also allow me to listen to them. All the women and men (people, also trans/gender fluid) that are just trying to be their own authentic selves.
It’s for all the women in my life that are so amazing, beautiful, but also intelligent individuals yet some people are too prideful to admit.
It’s for all the women that have to play coy when a guy flirts with them so they can ease away from an awkward situation. Or the women who are bold enough to speak up and risk a potential conflict that shouldn’t happen when someone speaks up for themselves.
It’s for men who fell into these situations with women they don’t want to get involved with (because they should want advances from any woman right?)
It’s for a love of all people
Anyone that feels like an other, generally not included.
Artwork by La Femme Cheri. Check her out on instagram @La_Femme_Cheri The Gaff Blog does not own this image
When did it become okay to pass laws that target one sect of people that the lawmakers are not apart of?
And do not give me that easy bullshit answer about trying to maintain impartiality. If that were the case, when we speak about abortion rights we would solely be discussing the facts. Not this or that person’s opinion of what a woman should do with her own pregnancy. We would not be pitting fact against proven fiction to show where the truth lies.
We wouldn’t be telling people which bathroom they should be using.
Let’s cut the bullshit.
The bathroom that someone uses does not effect anyone else besides the user.
What does effect people: their thoughts. They perceive someone as out of the norm and they want to control those that step outside their zone of normal.
I have used the men’s bathroom several times. Hairs didn’t pop out of my chest.
I didn’t tickle or bother someone as I walked out. Most of the time there was no one else in the bathroom at all.
Most of the time, it’s a single stall bathroom and I went in there because the women’s bathroom was occupied.
With these facts in mind, almost no one cares that I did it.
See how facts work? They justify actions.
They show people’s motives and intentions for doing what they did.
People aren’t so black and white.
People are the colors that make up the rainbow.
Let people be people.
Not another drone in your controlled scheme.
N. Oliva
Xoxo
Artwork by La Femme Cheri, check her out on instagram @La_Femme_Cheri The Gaff Blog does not own this image.
How do you know if your expectations are too high or if other people’s are too low?
Since I’ve been unemployed for some time, I have had a lot of questions. Not only why it’s so hard for someone to get an entry-level job around this time of year in New York City of all cities, the busiest city of them all but why people have become so anti-social in some aspects. But at the same time, they act like they’re doing stuff all day long on Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram.
I know I should not focus so much or any of my attention on these things. But as harsh as it seems, it kills me inside to think that some of these people who I have to share space and oxygen on the earth with are such selfish, careless individuals.
I want to be the change I wish to see.
I want to be upbeat and happy, do all the things I’ve ever hoped and dreamed of, hopefully with someone I love as well.
But, sometimes.
I can’t find the love inside myself to do it and move forward.
I don’t know how to find today’s peace.
I’m looking for my group of people who make my heart sing and every time I think I’m on my way towards that people remind me how terrible they are and I just want to quit.
Press stop.
It has nothing to do with money either. Oddly enough, I was happy when I made bullshit money at my job that I worked at night after coming home from classes. I loved the grind. Keeping myself busy.
I hate when people get mad at me for sharing my opinion and claim that I’m shaming someone else’s.
No, you just don’t like or agree with my opinion. Be upfront jack-off.
On the other hand, there’s a difference between someone being shamed for their opinion and someone saying something completely ridiculous or off-putting and hurting to people.
I am young but I have heard and read almost everything terrible possible. People are not begging for ‘safe spaces,’ they’re asking for human decency.
If America as a country has taught me anything, it’s that I have the right to say what I want but I also have to deal with the repercussions of stating my opinion. I do not have any problem with a person or group of people even, disagreeing with my opinion. What I dislike, is people just replying with their opinion instead of trying to listen to differing points and views and learning why someone thinks with that perspective.
I want to do something that makes me happy, meet people who I automatically click with and we can talk all day and night and hang out whenever. I personally do not like depending on people for anything but I do not want to feel like I am depending on people when I go to them with my feelings either.
I have been getting so bored and frustrated since I have been home looking for jobs, maybe partly cynical because of a bad experience I had with a job I thought was different than it turned out to be.
I used to love going on walks around my neighborhood and to the beach by me but it has become so awkward. I feel like people are looking at me like what the fuck is she doing using her legs outside? Legitimately. You’re not walking to your car? Or walking some place to eat? People are so strange and so basic at the same time.
I want to hang out and have fun with amazing, outstanding people who care about more than themselves and are okay sharing their opinion while also being okay listening to others endlessly.
I will end this post with a quote from someone (one of many) who inspires me. Suck it if you don’t like it!
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. – Barack Obama
So I had to share this, because I thought it was so fun. Often on google, they feature things that you can look at for that day.
Apparently today is World Emoji Day! So, google gave girls the chance to code an emoji that’s “unique like you”
With the limited amount of options given for hair colors and styles, this is a bit of an exaggeration to say. Still, I applaud them for their effort.
As you can see somewhat below, they give you options for customizing the eyes, mouth along with other options. The face and hair, which are both selected when you choose a name. I chose the Lily character for the second emoji I made. Which is shown below:
The process is a little confusing until you do everything yourself. I got the hang of it once I played around with all of the options. Other customization choices include a hat like the flower crown shown, an outfit (the one shown here is listed in the drop down menu as a Rockstar jacket) and tool (an example being the artist’s pallet and glasses) I chose two tools because I happen to also have glasses.
I’m not sure if Google has done a lot of promotions for this website. But I definitely think it deserves a lot more attention than it probably gets. I’m glad that I stumbled upon it while online.
Ladies, if you want to do the same and make some personalized emojis click the link:
Sorry guys 😥 I’m a tad sad to say this option is only available for girls, but I think the point of this website is to get girls/women to code more, so don’t get too sad about it. If you still want to make some girl ones in the comfort of your own home, I am not judging or stopping you. Can’t say the same for others 😛
Both of my creations are below:
Emoji created by Nicole Oliva using madewithcode.com a website designed by Google.
Emoji created by Nicole Oliva using madewithcode.com a website designed by Google.
I am definitely not being paid by Google to talk about this, and the Gaff Blog does not do business with Google. If someone would like to pay me, be my guest lmao.
Have a good day/night everyone.
Nicole xoxo.
The Gaff Blog Logo (and header on main page) created by yours truly Nicole Oliva
I wanted to practice what I preach and share my OOTD, which includes my favorite t-shirt.
I can’t lie and say I haven’t struggled with finding myself and just accepting myself for everything that I am. When I saw this shirt from Studio Mucci [bystudiomucci.com] (I bought it last year), it struck a chord in me.
I don’t have to figure out who I am. I create who I am. People see who you are by every move you make. Every word you say, or don’t say. I realized then and there I would focus on myself and making myself happy and forget about what everyone else thinks. Which is honestly where the problem lied. I knew who I was all along. I was simply hesitant to be myself.
Hope you enjoy my OOTD (styled this with some jeans to go to work).
What’s your OOTD? Or do you have an experience to share?
Show some love by liking, sharing and comment about your experience.
Lastly:
Be yourself. Don’t hesitate. Do.
And #KeepitReal
I tend to hold certain feelings back to not cause conflict. I don’t like conflict, but I also do not like feeling bad or bottling up bad feelings.
Recently I’ve gotten better at brushing things off.
The inspiration for this post however, was my breaking point.
Why are people sooooo fake?
One thing is for sure. Most people should not say everything they think and feel because a lot of feelings would get hurt. However, a lot of problems could be avoided if people were honest.
What does it even mean to be honest anymore? Are people honest? I honestly can’t say yes.
Everyone is full of the sickest shit and I’m sick of it.
For the protection of the person who inspired this I will not share details.
If you don’t like something, have the guts to say so.
If you agree with this post. Please: Comment, Like, Share. Would love to read about your experiences as well. Vent my loves. Vent!
The Gaff Blog 