Expectations of the Sheep

Expectations of the Sheep

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“Drained” N. Oliva 12/2017

People think because a person has a degree that automatically they get to work a glamorous job and make stacks of money.

Sure the opportunities are out there, but what if that’s not what a person wants?

What if my goal is to work with a great team somewhere and be happy.

Of course, there are bills to pay but are we really living to work?

That’s not how I pictured my life going.

Maybe my goals are too picturesque or cliche. Not set in reality. But I don’t think it’s hard to find a nice group of people and make your job something more than that. Something you enjoy

Maybe my goals are too simple for the NYC grind and area.

Maybe my home will be somewhere out west or south or even another country.

I’m a firm believer that life is what you make it.

But what if the people around me truly are to blame for my negative outlook.

I’ve been patient for a while hoping that if I’m nice and do everything I need to do to keep the peace that maybe people would change.

Maybe they would appreciate the things that I do for them without them asking.

But these people never do.

These people are only happy when you’re doing everything they ask and nothing more. When you say what they want you to say and act like another one of the sheep like they do.

News flash

I never was a sheep and I never will be

I’m like a lotus flower wrapped in diamonds

Sculpted by the pressure and atmosphere around me

The dirt is more my friend and family than people related to me by blood at times

I know things could be so much worse

I know my life is great on the surface

I could not be living at all

I try my best to embrace each day that comes

But sometimes

Just sometimes

The thought of not waking up seems like a sweet release compared to living this life that I live

Where money has become more important to people than company

Maybe it’s time to stop being comfortable. To leave and find my tribe.

I may have lost my leaves. But trust me when I say

I will grow

And I will flourish again in the spring

I always do.

It’s in my nature

Forever blooming

dalai lama quote

 

N. Oliva

A Letter to my Followers. What would you like to see? 

A Letter to my Followers. What would you like to see? 

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been contemplating what I want to do with the rest of my life. 
The answer: I’d love to create. 
Film, art, maybe in the future act or write a play. But before I get ahead of myself, I need some slight inspiration from you all. I have some ideas in my mind. But I’d really like to know what you all would be interested in. 
What genres of film are your favorites? Do people watch shorts that aren’t your average funny video on YouTube? Honest question.

One idea that I’ve been throwing around in my mind, is a film with a female villain. I’m unsure of her name so far. She meets this girl Daisy, who has been struggling to find herself. And she’s really struck by Daisy’s honesty. 

I’m thinking of naming the film Spark. You’ll see why if you’re interested. 

I’m so tired of seeing all the same films about all the same things. Or films that are simply an escape from reality, without trying to add something better to reality. Beyond documentaries, not many mainstream films address struggles of your average person. 
Daisy is a sweet girl who tries to see the best in everything and everyone. She truly wants to make the world a better place. But she’s unsure how. She hasn’t had the best family upbringing, has always felt bitterness from her mother, stepdad and sister, but she appreciates everything she has been through regardless. 

What I need is a motivation for her character. What wakes her up in the morning? What wakes you up in the morning? What’s going to take this sensitive woman from wanting to stay inside all the time, from doing the complete opposite?

My struggles right now are very close to Daisy’s.

I want to start a conversation. What do you think? What do you feel? I’m here for you. Inspire me, like I hope to inspire you all. 
Nicole xoxo. 

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Art Tuesdays – A Hand to God

As an art lover, artist and blogger I struggled with thinking about how to incorporate art into blogging. Realistically speaking, I do not have the time to go to exhibitions every week thus, reviews would be difficult to write if I can’t go to a museum. So I came up with this idea: Art Tuesdays.

Art Tuesdays will be dedicated to submissions of my own personal work, whenever I do not have external content to review.

So I will start this Tuesday off with my personal favorite:

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I drew A Hand to God on a day when I felt very lonely. If you look at the date on it, it is over a year old. But the message is still very clear in my mind.

I have gone back and forth with my beliefs if a god exists or not. At one point, I considered myself an atheist. The one person I knew who dedicated their life to God (my grandfather) passed away from complications with a brain tumor and I could not understand how someone divine nor all loving could let this happen to someone so dedicated to him or her.

Recently, I consider myself more agnostic. A brief definition of agnostic, for those who don’t know would be that I believe there could be a divine being but I personally am not putting a name on it. I only use ‘God’ in the title as a symbol. When I think about my life I consider myself very lucky. While I am not well off, I live comfortably. I eat everyday, sleep in my own bed. See my mom and step dad. Still talk to my dad occasionally although that’s awkward lol. But regardless of the trivial bad things that happen to me, I am lucky.

I am lucky to be alive with so much potential and opportunity available to me. So, to get to the main point of why I drew this is: if there is someone, anyone pulling the strings, I reach my hand out to them and welcome them in. Instead of criticizing them for their flaws.