The sun

The sun

Sometimes I feel like the sun

Like I can bright up the whole world and everyone’s life

Like nothing can touch me

But it’s hard when you actually realize

You’re imperfect

And

That people you keep treating like your entire universe

Keep dousing your flames

Its as if people are ashamed of how bright you shine

Or they’re like the moon when there’s a lunar eclipse

They can’t help but block your shine

Maybe it’s a natural occurrence

Maybe when people get close to me they’re burned by my temperature

A lot of people look at me like I have something they want

Like a marvel

And maybe

Those wants are just superficial

Maybe I put too much energy into everything and everyone around me

But everytime I expect people to deliver what I give

I’m faced with disappointment

It’s hard to be selfless in a world of selfishness

It’s hard to keep shining in a world of darkness

All I ever needed was your matchstick…

To take my wrongs and make them right
To take my darkness and make it bright

I know I’m the one who yields the power of holding the match stick and lighting up my life

To keeping myself happy

But the world would be a little less lonely if people would try to get close and not act so cold

It’s ok to be warm

Warmth can be defined in different ways

People who are there when they have no reason to be

People that stick around and listen to you

They offer help if they can or they just spend time with you to let you know that you’re not alone

Because that’s the last thing that they would ever want someone to feel like

Maybe they try to make you laugh and forget about all of the bullshit

You’re not alone if you’re not in a relationship but who are we all kidding

Everyone wants to be with someone at the end of the day

Whether it’s the same person or not

Don’t push people away

Shine solo or together with someone

N. Oliva

You were born to make an amazing life

You were born to make an amazing life

You were born to make an amazing life

Not to sit around waiting for a change and making random posts on Instagram for insta-likes

You were born to feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your cheeks (face and ass if you can rock it)

You were born to conquer your fears not to become a victim to your anxieties

Don’t get me wrong

Fears, anxieties, depression, they’re all monsters that plague us.

But when you let yourself become a victim to your mind

Are you really living?

This isn’t a criticism. It’s a wake up call

Live your fucking dreams

And don’t apologize for occasionally having your head in the clouds

It’s what keeps us alive

Dreaming, hoping, loving those around us

Struggle shapes you

Don’t let it knock you too far down

You’re meant to rise back up as high mountains and show the world why you deserve your spot

Because you were born to make an amazing life

And I will keep believing this is true no matter how many bitter, miserable people attempt to bring me down and make me think I’m the one who’s naïve

Be the person of your dreams

I believe in you and I

N. Oliva

Why do we compare?

Why do we compare?

 

screenshot_2017-02-02-21-43-55-1

Why were women taught to compare themselves

To diminish themselves

To think, wow she’s so pretty

I don’t think look like her, therefore: I’m ugly

Instead of: wow, she’s pretty. But hey, so am I.

Every facial and bodily characteristic is sitting in a sea of beauty. Some finding this sea, more beautiful than that one. But they all exist and mean something to someone.

N. Oliva

Xoxo

Seasons

Seasons

When you think about your life, what do you think?

What do you like about your life?

What could you do without?

Which memories could you relive for the rest of your life?

Which would you dispose of within an instant?

Why?

Why not?

What do you dream of late at night?

What dreams or nightmares wake you up in the morning?

Are you counting up your blessings?

Or adding up your problems?

Do you think of sharing your life with someone?

Who?

What thoughts cross your mind when you wake up?

Is it possible to wake down?

Is your life taking you for a spin?

Enjoy the ride. Enjoy the tide. Enjoy the highs.

And the lows that make the highs feel even better

Go surfing

Go ice skating

Go kayaking

You were made to make a parade of life

Not a pity party

Pity a starry night because it cannot look at itself to see how beautiful it is

Many times

Times many

Yoda

Star Wars

Citizen Kane

Rosebud

Roses bud

Spring out and flourish

Until the first frost

The seasons are like life

Winter

Starts out rough

A learning experience

April showers bring may flowers

May flowers and trees bring allergies

Who guessed a person who loved the environment would be allergic to trees?

Summer

A joy to experience

Almost everyone’s favorite season

Except that friend who insists snow is their favorite thing on earth

Fall

Leaves change colors

Your hair changes color

Leaves start to fall

How’s your hair looking old fart?

I think you can guess where this is heading

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper

 

N. Oliva

seasons-tree

But to Love Me 

But to Love Me 

Please don’t think I hate you.

I love you with every fiber of my being

You should know you’re the only person that I dream about making a life with

But not like this

Every fight tears me up inside
I kept thinking that you didn’t love me enough. And that I wasn’t doing enough to show my love.

And maybe the last part is true.

But the truth is
I’ve been struggling.

Not to love you

But to love me.

Silly girl. Picture not owned by the Gaff Blog, screenshot taken on 09.24.2016

N. Oliva

The Silence Between the Birds

The Silence Between the Birds

Watch your thoughts closely

From where did they come
The ego and the mind
Working together as one

This isn’t who we are
Or what we should believe                       The negative thoughts                                 The ego wanting to deceive
Step back for one moment                      And watch them from afar
See the pain and fear dissolve               Those thoughts not who we are

For we are infinite beings
Find stillness from within
The mind stops us from seeing
It can change the world we’re in            We are not our thoughts
Nor are we formed                                   From the ego and the mind
Our reality is torn                                  Watch the thoughts that come
And recognize why they are there
But be aware, they’re ego born               For your life they do not care

But once you see them for all they are They have no power over you
Watch them come and watch them go   With practice they’ll come few

You’re waking up now to beauty              To the things you’ve never heard               The waterfall, the mountains
The silence between the birds

Originally shared by:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BFhNdYXLk82/

Written by:
https://www.instagram.com/hannahshetler/

I found this poem a while back and neglected to post until now. Hope it provided something extra special for your day!

Loved by me, shared by the Gaff Blog 😊

Inkskinned on Tumblr

Inkskinned on Tumblr

image

Normally I would write or share posts like this on Art Tuesday but if you’ve been reading my page recently you’d see that sorta went out the window. I’ve been very into art and writing my feelings out. But sometimes even I do not have all the words, like most people I presume.

But this poem struck me. A lot of us have had issues with self-esteem and with loving ourselves. And if I can help anyone. Even just one person overcome there’s, then I’ve done right.

Please check out this person’s lovely post and blog on tumblr. Link below.

http://inkskinned.tumblr.com/post/131198847314/i-your-mouth-is-full-of-glass-cuts-speak-a

image

Art Tuesday – Art is Much Less Important than Life, But What a Poor Life Without it. How Have You Benefited from Art?

Art Tuesday – Art is Much Less Important than Life, But What a Poor Life Without it. How Have You Benefited from Art?

I have a poster in my room that reads:

Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it. Robert Motherwell.


Quote by Robert Motherwell (on the left) Copyright MOMA or Museum of Modern Art. From their Abstract Expressionist New York Exhibit Oct 3,2010 - April 25, 2011; (On the right) Pablo Picasso's
I have always believed that art is an important piece of the puzzle of life. Without art, I would not be complete. (Two of many posters/images on my wall)                                                                            Quote by Robert Motherwell (on the left) Copyright MoMA or Museum of Modern Art. From their Abstract Expressionist New York Exhibit Oct 3,2010 – April 25, 2011; (On the right) Pablo Picasso’s “Girl Before a Mirror” Also, purchased at the MoMA.

Art has been a major influence in my life in a lot of ways. Not simply visual art either. Artists (visual and musical), paintings, music, film (also directors and screenplay writers), animation, writers like Maya Angelou (bless her soul and her beautiful poetry), even some clothing designers (You go Diane Von Furstenberg!), have all inspired me in some way. Even to start writing this blog.

When I look at the walls in my room, it’s easy to see how art has been an inspiration to me, even though recently I have hit a bit of a wall with my creativity. I’ve always been willing to try new things when it comes to art, as far as exploration and discovery go (in one’s art that is). But it seems whenever people tell me that they do not like some of my work, I take it too harshly. Should I or shouldn’t I? Nevertheless, I still draw and paint to my heart’s desire.

(In order clockwise from the top left) Robert Motherwell's quote again; Also Picasso's
An extended view of the pictures on my wall   (In order clockwise from the top left) Robert Motherwell’s quote again; Also Picasso’s “Girl Before A Mirror,” Andy Warhol’s “Chocolate Bunny which says: “I never met an animal I didn’t like;” Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman” in a hardcover copy; Warhol’s Flowers in Red; Warhol’s Pop  Art Print – Shoes which says: “It takes a lot of work to figure out how to look so good.” (**All Artworks showed in this image except Angelou’s bought from the MoMA. All rights reserved to original owners**) **Image by Nicole Oliva**

Until recently, I was not too good with words. Creating visual art was my sole escape. Keyword was. I still enjoy drawing and painting, reading, writing, going to museums whenever I can. However, life has caught up with me and has become more serious. I especially struggled after I was rejected from a film program I yearned to be a part of ever since I fell in love with film: the ultimate visual art in my opinion, because it encompasses all aspects of visual art, but also utilizes music and dialogue (in modern cinema of course).

Art is my escape from reality because art does not force you to have an impression or experience you do not wish to have. Certainly, artists have intentions for their work when they create them. But experiencing art encompasses everything you have ever seen. Depending on your point of view, you will see something different from how I do. Also, creating art is a unique experience in itself as well. People have tried to describe the process of creating art. But it is not the same for everyone.

Pablo Picasso's
Pablo Picasso’s “Girl Before a Mirror” **Image taken by Nicole Oliva. Artwork purchased from the MoMA or Museum of Modern Art in NYC.**

To me, “Girl Before a Mirror,” connects with my insecure side. When I look into it, I see myself looking into the mirror and think about how I pick apart myself and my flaws. But it is fair to say that this was not even close to what Pablo Picasso was thinking while creating this piece. Or while deciding on which colors to use, the shape of the woman’s breasts and hips, etc. He may have simply been fascinated with a woman’s habit of peering into a mirror. Picasso had more than a few women in his life. In the past, when I read about Picasso’s life and accomplishments I was fascinated about how he lived. He and the people he lived amongst revolutionized cubism during their own lifetime. Imagine doing that during your time alive? One could only hope to accomplish as much or even half of what Picasso did during his own lifetime. To be so successful, that your grandchildren do not have to work. If you do not believe me, google his grandchildren. He probably made most of his wealth after he died, and sure, he had his flaws, but can you say you are perfect?

** Original Artworks Created by and Image by Nicole Oliva** (Top left) Self-portrait 2013;  (Top right) A Still Life 2013; (Bottom right) Two Hands 2013 (Blown up version of the image on the bottom left) All original  works shown here were created for a drawing class.
Drawings by yours truly   **Original Artworks Created by Nicole Oliva and Image by Nicole Oliva** (Top left) Self-portrait 2013; (Top right) A Still Life 2013; (Bottom right) Two Hands 2013 (Blown up version of the image on the bottom left) All original works that are shown here were created for a drawing class.

Does Art Imitate Life or Does Life Imitate Art?


I do not think I could give a definite answer to that question but in my opinion, my art reflects my life. Sure, I have tried to redo some Picasso pieces. So in that literal way, I replicated art and was influenced by it. But I have always been an observer. Not necessarily a follower. Following this line of thought, some people may entirely imitate art, but the ones who revolutionize, their art imitates life. Not the other way around.

I believe all great art imitates life. Even abstract art. Abstract art in itself is a complex puzzle not meant to be solved. Just like life. Why are we here? I do not have an answer to that question either. Are we here to live and then die? What should be we do while on this Earth? What if we all have a purpose that is meant to be fulfilled? Have I fulfilled that purpose yet?

More pictures on my wall lol. Pictures of Lady Gaga **Image by Nicole Oliva** Original images taken from a magazine. Copyright goes to original owners or photographers.
More pictures on my wall lol. Pictures of Lady Gaga **Image by Nicole Oliva** Original images taken from a magazine. Copyright goes to original owners or photographers.

If you read through older posts on the Gaff Blog, you’ll see one post that mentions Lady Gaga, who is another great influence in my life. Say what you will about her. But her music, whether she was high while writing it or even making the beats certainly imitates her life. From Bad Kids to So Happy I Could Die, to Monster, if you dig deep into her lyrics, you can see the real her. Even Poker Face is apparently about her hiding a bisexual fantasy from her lover. The rawness of her music is what always attracted me to her as an artist. Also, her love of playing piano always inspires me to bring an aspect of what I love into my future work and career. Although her taste for leather repulsed me during my vegetarian phase, I accepted her for her flaws. Some may think she has more than others. But again, we’re all imperfect. Artists may simply be  more attuned to accepting their flaws.

To end this post, I will say that art has continued to be an immensely beneficial aspect of my life. If art has not benefitted you in any way, I suggest checking again. On your walls, on your clothes, maybe some place that I wouldn’t even think of. But find what makes you happy and pursue that, whatever way you can.

Last image from my wall.       Quote by Diane Von Furstenberg
Last image from my wall.      Quote by Diane Von Furstenberg. “Be yourself and enjoy it! Live healthy and love your body! Your confidence is your real beauty.” **Image by Nicole Oliva**

For more information on Robert Motherwell and his artwork, visit http://artsy.net/artist/robert-motherwell

Art Tuesdays – Button Poetry – How I Love Thee So Much <3

Art Tuesdays – Button Poetry – How I Love Thee So Much <3

Instead of sharing one of my own works this Tuesday I thought I would share something I love with all of you.

button poetry

Button Poetry on YouTube is perhaps what it sounds like: spoken word poetry out loud but read by the people who have written the poetry. As like most poetry the topics of discussion are typically more serious issues. As such, topics for Button Poetry range from issues with depression, anxiety, social norms, but sometimes they’re actually quite comical, or sweet.

Two specific videos I love are Kevin Yang’s “How to Love Your Introvert” and Justin Lamb “For the People Who Ask Me If I’m Tired”

As you may have guessed “How to Love Your Introvert” is one of my favorites because I myself, am an introvert.

Gasp! Do you ever get out of your house? Do you hate people? 

To answer this, yes I do get out of my house, and no I do not hate people. But my desire to socialize can be compared with my desire to exercise. And I’ll let Kevin explain the rest.

Similarly, I loveeeee “For the People Who Ask Me If I’m Tired” because this is a common and persistent problem that I have with people.

Why must you ask me if I’m tired? Does asking me if I’m tired help you in some way? Do you like making me feel like I look defeated or just generally like shit or what? Or do you have to say your thoughts out loud? Either way I’m tired of you or him, or her, everybody asking this stupid, invasive and insulting question.

Watch for some giggles:

If you love Button Poetry show this post some love, or make a comment or two about one of the Button Poetry posts you are fond of, or poetry in general you think I might like to read

I’m always up for suggestions 🙂